You’ve done everything “right.” You’ve stayed loyal, worked hard, kept the peace, held the relationships, and showed up — even when it cost you.
You were trained how to stay, serve and submit.
But you were never taught how to leave well.
I turned 60 this week and want to live the next 25 years with more joy and agency AND do it in a way that’s gentle and kind to myself.
When it comes to pushing, pulling, and holding — I’ve spent decades building those muscles.
But my “letting go” muscle? Oof. That one's going to need some strength training.
Here are 3 exercises I’m practicing to get fit for my next 25 years.
1. Start Loud Quitting
Lisa Congdon explains “loud quitting” as the intentional decision to quit something assertively and in a clear way.
She went on a systematic mission to examine and quit everything in her life that felt:
Finished or draining.
One-sided or obligatory.
Without purpose or joy.
Lisa shares:
“I cannot tell you the level of joy and excitement I felt once I realized that I could change my own life.
I was lit on fire because for so many years, I had no sense of agency and all the sudden I was like, wait, I can do whatever I want.
I can create the life I want. And so, I just started to do that.”
Author Jen Hatmaker recently shared on her podcast that she’s loud quitting Codependent Parenting of Adult Children.
After pouring everything into her kids, she realized:
“This is not my life. Once you're in the young adult zone, you're going to have to just care about your life the most.”
As a high-functioning codependent, this hit hard.👊🏻
I have four daughters and for years, mothering has been my full-time gig — But it’s not healthy any longer to care about my adult daughter’s lives more than they do.
The baton was always meant to be passed.
It’s their turn to run with it now.
2. Know When to Fold-Em
Sheri Salata, author of The Beautiful No, describes a pattern among many of us with traditional upbringings have absorbed—staying in friendships, jobs, or relationships far beyond their natural conclusion, all in the name of being "nice."
Sheri Salata calls it what it is: “Stay-too-long-itis”, the belief that being nice mattered more than being well. So, she stayed too long in friendships, jobs, and roles that no longer fit.
“We were taught that being nice was more important than creating our own beautiful lives.”
I’ve done this. Maybe you have, too. Holding surface-level relationships together out of habit. “Performing” connection instead of feeling it.
But staying too long costs something — years of your life, pieces of your soul.
Sheri invites us to “Love people deeply but hold relationships lightly. Not every person is meant to walk you home.”
We don’t need to carry the hand we’ve been dealt for the rest of our lives. Choose what to discard and draw fresh from the pile.
✨ Learn more about Sheri’s free community HERE
3. Our Season of Holy Decisions
In a Facebook post, author Jen Hatmaker offered a gentle, but firm reframe:Midlife is not a crisis — it’s a renaissance marked by holy decisions.
Her invitation? To choose what stays on your calendar, in your hands and in your heart.
“You can step confidently into what’s next if you are no longer carrying what you aren’t meant to carry.”
You get to decide:
What do I keep?
What do I let go of?
What's worth fighting for?
What deserves to fall away?
🌿Closing Gentle Nudges
You don’t need permission to release what’s no longer yours to hold.But in case you do — here it is:
Let go. Loudly if you must. Quietly if you prefer. But bravely, always.
I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about “loud quitting” — just hit reply!